Blocking Toxic People

We met people by destiny and for a purpose. 

I have a colleague  whom I called  friend but he don't even count me as a friend. We are OFW and living on same company apartment. Myself I considered  my close workmate as friend and family since our families are not with us. 

This friend I'm referring of is kind and shy type person. He never initiate serious conversation. Sometimes if we have same duty time I waited him for breakfast, on his side he never wait or never offer his meals. I gave all support I can give; moral, financially and many more. 

He is thinking that I'm expecting from him for a special relationship which is not. I just want a genuine friendship. A friend whom I can trust and gives me advise when I needed. He never ask me how I am. A real friend knows you if you need someone to talk.

Someone advise me to step out from him and needs to ignore him. They're saying that he is playful, which I defend him I always told them that he is shy and never open to anyone. 

 I appreciate our individual differences.  I truly understand his personality and believes he truly cares me. I invited him to go out for coffee the next day since we have same day off but he refuse instead he went out bonding with his outside friend. Not only one time I invited for unwind or going out but many times. He prefers to be with somebody not me.

I always asked myself what I did wrong, If there something wrong with me, what I need to do more. I didn't feel jealousy I just want him to inform me cause I care him too much. I want to ignore but I  feel sad, overthinking and cant sleep well. I'm not in love and I don't want to fall in love.

I followed jayshetty on Instagram and I love all his quotes. Here are some of his quotes which makes me realize and enlightened my mind.

I summed up that I focus more on him rather than giving time to real friends.  To be with him is becoming unhealthy and toxic to my lifestyle. Our relationship is unbalance. Its not his intentional to hurt but I need to respect myself. I blocked him on social media. Enough is enough.

Don't force ourselves to fit in where we don't belong. . . 


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